Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
