Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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