You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
