it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
