okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
