I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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