You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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