Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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