I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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