I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
