Duck Duck Cougar?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize