Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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