she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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