Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He? As in you personified your dick?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize