Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
