I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
