No awkward lesbian experiences without me
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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