Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
