"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
