C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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