Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
the gays at disneyland are vicious
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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