That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize