He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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