i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
