Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
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