There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
And then he peed in my hair
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