I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
