what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
