I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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