Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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