SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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