your room smells of hookers.
And success
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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