i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
