Tell her she can't have a vagina
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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