why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
