oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
