Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize