if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
