ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
