Whod you bang
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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