somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I puked a lego.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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