At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize