Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
