So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I need to sanitize my soul.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
