i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
