So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
