He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
