Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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