I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
