I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
