ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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