yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
you will always have a special place in my vag
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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