id be glad to
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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