That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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