it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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