You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We are all done wearing pants today
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
