so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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