Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
