Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
