I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
