How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
