sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
