I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
