what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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