there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
