I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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