Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
