??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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