perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
