Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
