We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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