You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
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